Deployment Day 3

Rob did call yesterday just before he was to board the plane from Norfolk Virginia. He and the guys with him are going to Germany and then on to Qatar. They should be in Qatar by now. They will be there for at least 24 hours maybe more before they move on to Al Asad. He will email as soon as he has it up and running.

I will check on the house and get the mail again today. I have not heard from Carter yet but I'm sure he will call. He has his own cell phone that his mother got him. Rob and I told him to call me if he was lonely or sad. We do have sleep overs planned that we will do at Rob's house. Carter and I will also go see the new animated movies as they come out. The one we both want to see is Aliens vs Monsters.

Deployment Day 2

I went to Rob's house today and picked up the mail and just generally checked on things. When we left yesterday it was 4 in the morning and I wanted to make sure we hadn't overlooked anything. As I was looking into Carter's room it got me to thinking about how Carter was taking this deployment. For several days before Rob left Carter was telling me he was sad and not happy. More than once he cried and said he didn't want his dad to leave. I thought he had only told me but he was saying the same things to his dad. Rob had already said this was going to be his last deployment and I think that Carter's feelings helped to make him realize that his decisions were having a bigger effect than he thought. 

In the past Carter was not all that upset that Rob was leaving. I think that was because of Carter's age. Younger kids don't have a real idea of what time is or how many days 4 months or 12 months are. Carter now understands and knows that he will not see his dad again till Summer and school is out. I also think he is more aware of what is happening in Iraq and that his dad could be hurt. Several times Carter has asked about the bad guys and if dad knew how to use his rifle. I think as adults we sometimes forget just how preceptive and smart kids can be but he still only 7 years old and he has a 7 year olds fear of loss. 

I next walked into Rob's room to check on things there and as I was looking at his empty bed I started to cry. You see I have a 56 year olds fear of loss and a more active imagination and realization of what could happen. I have heard all the talk of heros and how they are doing such a great thing for the USA and the world but that is cold comfort to the 4000 parents that have seen that delegation from the base commander's office at the door. 

The house was okay and I locked things  up and left. Has anybody seen the key to my heart.

Good Times

Carter and Carol were looking at pictures of Carter at gymnastics from several years ago. Carol was saying how much Carter had liked the classes. He remembered several of the kids and the instructor from the pictures. Carter looks at Carol says,
"Good times grandma. They were some good times".
The way he said it you would have thought that he was an old man looking back 50 or more years. That boy amazes me. He is all little boy one moment and the next he is the oldest person in the room.

Children, Never Too Old To Worry About

My oldest boy is deploying with the Idaho Air National Guard this Wednesday. They will be going to Al Asad Airfield in Iraq. This is one of the largest airfields in Iraq and is a joint USAF and Marines venture. It is west of Baghdad in the Anbar Province. Partially because of its size and the number of US Forces that are assigned there it has several large swimming pools and a giant PX. It is one of the safest places in Iraq for US Forces and is sometimes referred to as "Camp Cupcake".

The reason I'm worried is they are bringing their Chemical Gear and their rifles with them. They will have to have the rifles with them while they are on duty. If this place is so safe why the weapons and Chemical Gear? I know that the number of deaths in Iraq is going down and right now Afghanastan is the more dangerous place to be but as a father that is cold comfort for me right now. At least they will be there for only 120 days.

I know that it is irrational to worry. He is 36 years old, has a Bachalor's in Psychology and a Master's in Social Work. He is a very level headed responsible person but still I will worry. I'm eating comfort food and am thinking that I should buy more photography gear. That's right I shop in times of great anxiety. So for the next four months I will try to smile and not buy too much but I will worry.

The Marketing of Carter

The other morning while getting Carter ready for school, we were watching TV. The show was a Japanese animation called Bakugan. We have watched it several times now but I must admit that I have no idea what it is about. The characters for no apparent reason have these battles with small round fighters that turn into larger warriors with hit points assigned but that can be changed with ability cards. So far there are no real rules that I can discern and no plot in what passes for the storyline. Carter can tell that I don't understand the show. He goes into his room and returns with 6 small segmented plastic balls that turn into the Bakugan warriors and he hands them to me and says "This is what it is all about grandpa. They want to make me buy these toys at the store and it is working". I wonder if the boys in marketing know that a 7 year old has figured out what they are doing. 

Cleo The Kleptomaniac Cat

Cleo has been with us for about 14 years now. Cleo is an American Short Haired cat colored in gray and black tiger stripes. She is a garbage can kitty. Our youngest son, John, found her and 4 litter mates in the garbage can behind Merritt's Cafe. John rescued them and they rode home in his leather jacket on his motorcycle. A small calico died shortly after arriving at our house. My oldest son and I took her to the vet but they said there was nothing they could do. We cried on the drive home, both of us trying to look unaffected but the tears streaming down our faces. When we got home Cleo was trying to take anything she could get her claws into and hide it behind the toilet. 

My wife and I decided that we could not keep the cats and we worked to give them away. She brought them to my work on a weekend afternoon and we showed them off. In the records office they were a big hit until Cleo had the runny poops all over one the lady's desks. It was a terrible stinky mess. No sale there. Next they went to dispatch and lucky us we were able to give two of them away but not Cleo. She didn't want to be held and she keep trying to take the dispatch cards and pens. So home she came with us and she pooped again in the car. Cleo has never taken to travel by car and gets sick every time. Would have been nice to know that. 

So Cleo ended up living with us and I must admit we have rarely thought it was a bad thing. She has more spunk and personality than just about any cat we have ever had. No Christmas tree has ever been safe. Decorations are stripped from the bottom two feet of the tree and hidden behind the toilet or in the toilet, she likes to see things float. She has stolen and hidden glasses, small cameras, wrist watches and more small items than I could ever name. O, she talked to me once. Actually she gave me some good advice in a time of need. I had nailed my thumb to my hand with an air powered nail gun. I was thinking I could drive myself to the doctor when Cleo looked up at me and said, "Don't be a fool call for help". I finally decided that if the cat was talking to me I had better do as she said.

Cleo is a little slower these days but she still has her kitten like moments. She is mad at us for getting the dogs. She can't understand why after 11 years we had to ruin things. Deep down though I think she likes the dogs. She will lick them and play with them if we aren't watching to closely. I know that her days are running out and that makes me sad. But for the time being we will let her sleep in the linen closet and feed her deli turkey. And Yeah,  I will cry like a little girl on that day.  

My Garage

As I look into my garage from the door I wonder if I will ever be able to clear it out and use it. There is clutter from one end to the other and in places it is almost floor to ceiling. Here and there are paths that lead to some of my woodworking tools but there is little room to maneuver. There are books and magazines on the shelves on the walls. Tools are in boxes and hung from pegs everywhere. There are items I'm saving for sentimental reasons and stuff that I can't understand why I saved in the first place. Before the clutter blows out the walls I need to clean house. 

I do believe that a person's garage can become a metaphor for ones life. There are memories both good and bad that we hang onto and store in our brain. There are pathways to areas that we go to all the time and the tools we need to live our lives hang in ever corner of our brain. There are half remembered and half forgotten memories everywhere. There are memories of a child's first steps and words, a lost love, a dearly remembered father or mother. That first kiss and the first heartbreak. There is also that last confrontation with the boss at work. That idiot on the way to the store and the phone solicitor that wont hang up all reside in our memories. 

So tomorrow I'm going out to my garage and I'm going to remove some of the clutter. Throw out those things that are just in the way and make me mad every time I go looking for something I need. I'm going to sort through the boxes and let go of things that just take up room. I going to get my tools out and cleaned up to use as I need them. I'm going to make a shadow box to display my father's tools that I got when he died. That way he will always be looking over my shoulder when I work on a project. I'm going to open up the area to the light so I can see what is important. And while I'm at it I'm going to take stock of my metaphorical garage and do some cleaning there too.  

Living the Slow Life

I've been retired now for 7 months and they have been great. I sleep in and do as little or as much as I want. I walk the dogs, at least when the weather is nice and warm and I have taken more pictures recently. I make dinner more days than not, okay Carol will say otherwise, and I have even started vacuuming and other housecleaning activities. You would think that with this frantic pace I would be in better shape but it pains me to say that a fast conversation leaves me winded anymore. It is amazing how the weight just sort of sneaks up on you. I have always been a large person but I have really let things get away from me lately. I know, being a diabetic, that weight is my enemy and the cornerstone of all my other health problems. Back pain, knee pain, high blood pressure and I'm sure my gray hair can all be traced back to my weight. 

The question is what can I do. I could walk the dogs further and further and maybe even walk a little faster. I could cook better healthier meals. I could spend less time at the computer. Maybe I could start going to the gym or the YMCA and use the weight room. I could and should cancel the cable TV, too much time has been spent watching the mindless drivel on the TV. I should get my bike fixed and start riding it more. I could ride it to Walgreen's to pick up my insulin and other medications instead of driving the car. I could start a vegetable garden again. I should get out my honey do list and start fixing things around the house. 

I need to start and take that first step. I know that it will be the hardest step but all trips start with that first step. I know it will take time but maybe if I work at it the next time Carter kicks my butt it wont hurt as bad.